The Moral Force of Women
Objective: To understand clearly and change what needs to be changed regarding our view of women.
INTRODUCTION to LEARNER READINESS
SAY: This talk by D T C was delivered to the women of the church back in October Conference.The subheading of talk is as follows:
"Your intuition is to do good and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow."
SAY: In women it is innate just part of them. In men, we have to develope it. [repeat the phrase]. It reminds of a verse of scripture given to men: D&C 121:45-46
45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.
LEARNER READINESS
SAY: My objective today is to help us, as men, understand womanhood clearly and change what needs to be changed regarding our view of women. In talking with my wife about this lesson, she said the following:
"Men have an obligation to see the good in the women in their lives and encourage it and not put it down." [putting the good of women down - her father was that way, some men where she is employed still have vestiges of this]
We, as men, being tainted by the teaching and modeling of some around us and by society in general we may carry inappropriate baggage about women. As member of the church, we have had to change some of our beliefs and views about women. We also have many correct views of women.
SAY: Let's read a quote from Elder Christofferson's talk.
READ A
A - Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures. When praising the “unfeigned faith” he found in Timothy, Paul noted that this faith “dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice.”
SAY: be thinking about the wonderful influence women have had in your life. We will have time for you to share those experiences.
LEARNER INVOLVEMENT
Q: Returning to our society and environment in which we life, What kinds of inappropriate or negative views of women are there out there in the world? [objectifying, believing they are inferior, 2nd class citizens, etc.]
Q: Are these views of women improving or getting worse?
Q: Has the view of equality between men and women changed in the last 50 years?
READ, except from a letter written to me from a friend in CT. She is 82 years old, Catholic, the mother of one of my childhood friends. She talking about the 60's and 70's in CT.
The times in which we lived back then, were very conflicting
times for women. It was the advent of the "Women's Lib", and we
were just beginning to find out how we were being manipulated and abused.
If a woman wanted to leave [the marriage], she had no basis in many cases to be able to
make it financially on her own.
Sometimes, people wear two faces, one for the outside world,
and one for the inside world of the home. That was so very conflicting
for me to experience in my own situation. When a man is Narcissistic, it
is his wife who pays the price, because she is the one who always gets the
blame, abuse, demeaning, nullification, and misery. Then on the other
hand he can be so charming and nice when he is getting what he wants.
Q: I was young back then. Were these views of women global, or just where I grew up?
READ B - In one of Elder Christofferson's footnotes we read:
Elder Christofferson's footnote
B - It is true that many women over many generations have been exploited or saddled with unfair burdens both in family and employment, but selflessness and sacrifice need not and should not become abusive or exploitative. Elder Bruce C. Hafen observed: “If being ‘selfless’ means a woman must give up her own inner identity and personal growth, that understanding of selflessness is wrong. … But today’s liberationist model goes too far the other way, stereotyping women as excessively independent of their families. A more sensible view is that husbands and wives are interdependent with each other. … The critics who moved mothers from dependence to independence skipped the fertile middle ground of interdependence. Those who moved mothers from selflessness to selfishness skipped the fertile middle ground of self-chosen service that contributes toward a woman’s personal growth. Because of these excesses, debates about the value of motherhood have, ironically, caused the general society to discount not only mothers but women in general” (“Motherhood and the Moral Influence of Women” [remarks to the World Congress of Families II, Geneva, Plenary Session IV, Nov. 16, 1999], http://worldcongress.org/wcf2_spkrs/wcf2_hafen.htm).
READ C [from the Proclamation on the Family]
Elder Christofferson's footnote
B - It is true that many women over many generations have been exploited or saddled with unfair burdens both in family and employment, but selflessness and sacrifice need not and should not become abusive or exploitative. Elder Bruce C. Hafen observed: “If being ‘selfless’ means a woman must give up her own inner identity and personal growth, that understanding of selflessness is wrong. … But today’s liberationist model goes too far the other way, stereotyping women as excessively independent of their families. A more sensible view is that husbands and wives are interdependent with each other. … The critics who moved mothers from dependence to independence skipped the fertile middle ground of interdependence. Those who moved mothers from selflessness to selfishness skipped the fertile middle ground of self-chosen service that contributes toward a woman’s personal growth. Because of these excesses, debates about the value of motherhood have, ironically, caused the general society to discount not only mothers but women in general” (“Motherhood and the Moral Influence of Women” [remarks to the World Congress of Families II, Geneva, Plenary Session IV, Nov. 16, 1999], http://worldcongress.org/wcf2_spkrs/wcf2_hafen.htm).
READ C [from the Proclamation on the Family]
From the Proclamation on the Family
C - By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
Q: What do think equal partners means?
SAY: Elder Christofferson relates various stories and some experences about how he was influenced by good women in his life. Here's one of them.
READ D from Elder Christofferson:
D - My family moved into the New Brunswick Ward when I was a teenager. Sister Daines took notice of me and often expressed her confidence in my abilities and potential, which inspired me to reach high—higher than I would have without her encouragement. Once, because of a thoughtful and timely warning from her, I avoided a situation that would surely have led to regret. Although she is no longer here, Anna Daines’s influence continues to be felt and reflected in the lives of her descendants and countless others, myself included.
SAY: I believe all of you have wonderful experiences that you could share about women your life being a positive influence. You have mothers, grandmothers, wives and good women in the community. Would any of you like to share?
[time for shariing]
[My mother bringing me to church]
LEARNER APPLICATION - READINESS
SAY: Let's read two more excerpts from EC's talk. Just listen to how virtues of women are extolled in these quotes.
READ E
E - In all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship. By the power of her example and teaching, her sons learn to respect womanhood and to incorporate discipline and high moral standards in their own lives. Her daughters learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular. A mother’s love and high expectations lead her children to act responsibly without excuses, to be serious about education and personal development, and to make ongoing contributions to the well-being of all around them. Elder Neal A. Maxwell once asked: “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?”
E - In all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship. By the power of her example and teaching, her sons learn to respect womanhood and to incorporate discipline and high moral standards in their own lives. Her daughters learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular. A mother’s love and high expectations lead her children to act responsibly without excuses, to be serious about education and personal development, and to make ongoing contributions to the well-being of all around them. Elder Neal A. Maxwell once asked: “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?”
READ F
F - Most sacred is a woman’s role in the creation of life. We know that our physical bodies have a divine origin and that we must experience both a physical birth and a spiritual rebirth to reach the highest realms in God’s celestial kingdom. Thus, women play an integral part (sometimes at the risk of their own lives) in God’s work and glory “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” As grandmothers, mothers, and role models, women have been the guardians of the wellspring of life, teaching each generation the importance of sexual purity—of chastity before marriage and fidelity within marriage. In this way, they have been a civilizing influence in society; they have brought out the best in men; they have perpetuated wholesome environments in which to raise secure and healthy children
SAY: Let's read some excerpts from D&C 121. Be thinking as you listen, how they apply to our relationship with women.
F - Most sacred is a woman’s role in the creation of life. We know that our physical bodies have a divine origin and that we must experience both a physical birth and a spiritual rebirth to reach the highest realms in God’s celestial kingdom. Thus, women play an integral part (sometimes at the risk of their own lives) in God’s work and glory “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” As grandmothers, mothers, and role models, women have been the guardians of the wellspring of life, teaching each generation the importance of sexual purity—of chastity before marriage and fidelity within marriage. In this way, they have been a civilizing influence in society; they have brought out the best in men; they have perpetuated wholesome environments in which to raise secure and healthy children
SAY: Let's read some excerpts from D&C 121. Be thinking as you listen, how they apply to our relationship with women.
READ G - EXCERPTS
G - D&C 121: 37-42
37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.
39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
LEARNER APPLICATION
Q: How do we encourage women?
Q: How do we encourage women?
Q: How do we help them reach their potential?
Q: If we are saddled to falsehoods about women, how do cast them off?
Conclusion:
I am grateful for good women in my life. Without a patient, kind wife, I wouldn't have had the opportunities nor time to progress and become a better man. I have learned to be equally yoked with my wife, Karen. We make important decisions together. She respects me and I respect her. The truths of the gospel have changed us both. And this is all possible through the grace of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I leave these things with on in His name, Amen.
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